Due to a sore throat and a fever I was forced to wait at home while my mom had the port put in to harvest her cells. I received a text message from Dana letting me know that the procedure to insert the port went well and Dr Schuster’s team would be up to harvest the cells in 20 minutes. The entire process will take 2 hours and then we will be forced to wait another 10 to 14 days as the cells are stimulated in the lab before being . As my sister Kelly has said “the light at the end of the tunnel is very bright,” but the wait is another story! I thought this would be a good opportunity to share a few of our family’s funnier moments and sweeter memories.
Let me begin with one of my favorite stories about my quiet and reserved cousin, Helen, who we are corrupting daily—Just after my mom was admitted to HUP we received the handicap placard that we requested when we thought she’d had a stroke. We have been using the placard to find a good spot near the elevators as we cart food and laundry back and forth for Dan while he stays by my mom’s side. On a day when Dana, Kelly and Helen drove together there was a security guard standing beside the handicap spot chose and Helen spotted him as Dana hung the placard from the rearview mirror. “Oh my God, somebody better limp when we get out of the car!” Dana and Kelly laughed and gathered up their gear to head into the hospital. They had made it as far as the Pearlman Center bridge before Dana realized Helen wasn’t with them. As she looked back she spotted Helen about 20 feet behind them doing some kind of limp that made her look like a handicapped penguin. She nudged Kelly and told her to check out “Gimpy” behind them. Kelly turned to admire Helen’s handicapped penguin impersonation and between her laughter informed her that it would have been easier to fake a heart condition! The guard was gone by now and the three stopped to use the restroom before heading to mom’s room in Rhoads. As they came out, adjusting their gear once again, the guard resumed his post at the desk. Helen resumed her limp.
Next, we will head back up to my mom’s room in the Rhoads building to share a private sporting event. As you know, my mom did end up developing pneumonia and we were forced to use a suction hose to remove any mucus she coughed up. This is a difficult thing because the ability to cough is something my mom is losing because of her illness, but sneezing is another thing. The nurse explained to us that sneezing is a reflex that you really have no control over and therefore, my mom tends to bring up more mucus when she sneezes. All my life it has been a running joke that my mom can never sneeze just once, a minimum of 3 to as many as 15 times in a row. We are just beginning to realize the irony involved with the fact that a strange, repetitive sneezing quirk my mom has had her entire life is now something that is saving her life, we will again chalk it up as fate, regardless of how idiotic it sounds. Now for the fun part, last Friday night left Dana and Dan with my mom during the monster of all sneezing jags. It was around bedtime so my mom was wearing the huge mitten on her hand that stops her from pulling at the feeding tube during the night. As soon as the sneezing started Dan jumped from bed to grab the suction hose and my mom starting swinging that heavyweight mitten as he closed in. Dan took position behind the head of the bed and made small jabs at my mom’s mouth with the suction hose as she landed a few roundhouse punches to his head. After 5 minutes of watching Dan ducking and weaving and cheering my mom on “That was a good one, Bonnie. Got a lot on that one” Dana could stand it no longer. She advised Dan to leave my mom alone and reminded him that there was not a thing wrong with her memory. The idea of future payback had Dan wrapping up the suction hose, “Next time we’ll call the nurse.”
My family is not an extremely religious group. That is not to say that we do not believe in God but you are not going to see any of us at Sunday mass. I have taught my children to believe and to always have faith in God as events occurred that required explanation. I did not sit down with them to teach them things such as God’s will when my mom became ill because I wasn’t sure if was a conversation I could make it through. So the sight of 3-year old Cadence kneeling by her bedside and making a steeple with her hands as I got her ready for bed that night had me surprised and charmed. She tilted her tiny head and closed her eyes and I listened in awe to her sweet voice as she spoke her little prayer. “Hello, God. It is me, Cadence Rae Given. Please make my meemom all better so that she can push me on the swing when I can go outside with no shoes. Thanks, bye!”
Four-year old Connor takes a different approach. When he told me last year that he wanted to be a food scientist when he grew up I stopped thinking along traditional lines when I imagined his future. He believes that if we simply bring Grandmom some hot soup she will be good as new. The key to soup, Connor tells me, is that it must be hot, so I am to “speed like the other cars” when I bring the soup to Grandmom. The funny thing is that he is not so far off the mark with his notion of driving in the city, which brings us to another Helen moment.
Driving home from HUP is a totally different nightmare. The traffic is severely congested and people are just not in the finest of moods. Dana picks her way through potholes, cabdrivers and panhandlers as she gets us to 95. One night we happened to leave at the same time as Kelly and Helen and tailed them for a bit before switching lanes and moving ahead. I am sure that Kelly and Helen do a great deal of talking and smoking during their drive home and this must have been what prevented them from noticing Dana and I leaving them behind at the traffic light. There is one intersection as you are leaving the hospital that always has people in an uproar, 2 lanes go straight and a third lane is to make a right-hand turn but only on the signal. It’s the signal that gets everyone, they all start beeping at the lead car in the turning lane, angry over the fact that they are actually waiting for the light to change from red to green. .This night found Kelly and Helen as the lead car with a silver SUV similar to mine, laying on the horn behind them. Kelly looked back and laughed thinking it was Dana and I being smart-asses and Helen proceeded to hang her entire arm out the window with her middle finger riding high. As the light changed and the silver SUV pulled alongside Helen was rewarded with a view of a woman she had never seen before in her life. “Holy fuck, Kelly, it’s not even them!” Later, Helen would inform us of how she could have been killed pulling a stunt like that, but Dana just believes she should have directed her finger at the panhandler who carries the sign that says SUPPORT A VET FROM 1964, she believes that if he hasn’t found a job since 1964 he is incompetent at best and Helen would be fairly safe flipping him off for blocking traffic!
Panhandling seems to be quite an enterprise in the city and I have to admit I am always a bit surprised at the audacity of some. During a visit to the McDonalds across from the hospital, a few of us had the pleasure of meeting Big Red, as Dana calls him due to an ill-fitting red baseball hat. As I said earlier, my stepfather will start a conversation with anyone and this brings us more knowledge than we care to have. After a lengthy conversation with Big Red, Dan informed us that panhandling outside of HUP can earn you $300 to $400 a day. I am sure this is the thought irritated Kelly when he walked up to her while she ate her meal with Helen and Dana and interrupted her conversation to ask for money. Kelly turned to look at him and her voice was firm and annoyed, “Excuse me. No.” she stated. The word “bitch” could be heard as Big Red walked away, causing the manager of the McDonalds to ask him to leave. After Helen finished eating she went outside ahead of Dana and Kelly to smoke, and after watching her look back and forth a million times, fearing Big Red’s return, Kelly rose from the table and said, “We better go out there and get her before she gives herself whiplash!”
Next, we will head back up to my mom’s room in the Rhoads building to share a private sporting event. As you know, my mom did end up developing pneumonia and we were forced to use a suction hose to remove any mucus she coughed up. This is a difficult thing because the ability to cough is something my mom is losing because of her illness, but sneezing is another thing. The nurse explained to us that sneezing is a reflex that you really have no control over and therefore, my mom tends to bring up more mucus when she sneezes. All my life it has been a running joke that my mom can never sneeze just once, a minimum of 3 to as many as 15 times in a row. We are just beginning to realize the irony involved with the fact that a strange, repetitive sneezing quirk my mom has had her entire life is now something that is saving her life, we will again chalk it up as fate, regardless of how idiotic it sounds. Now for the fun part, last Friday night left Dana and Dan with my mom during the monster of all sneezing jags. It was around bedtime so my mom was wearing the huge mitten on her hand that stops her from pulling at the feeding tube during the night. As soon as the sneezing started Dan jumped from bed to grab the suction hose and my mom starting swinging that heavyweight mitten as he closed in. Dan took position behind the head of the bed and made small jabs at my mom’s mouth with the suction hose as she landed a few roundhouse punches to his head. After 5 minutes of watching Dan ducking and weaving and cheering my mom on “That was a good one, Bonnie. Got a lot on that one” Dana could stand it no longer. She advised Dan to leave my mom alone and reminded him that there was not a thing wrong with her memory. The idea of future payback had Dan wrapping up the suction hose, “Next time we’ll call the nurse.”
My family is not an extremely religious group. That is not to say that we do not believe in God but you are not going to see any of us at Sunday mass. I have taught my children to believe and to always have faith in God as events occurred that required explanation. I did not sit down with them to teach them things such as God’s will when my mom became ill because I wasn’t sure if was a conversation I could make it through. So the sight of 3-year old Cadence kneeling by her bedside and making a steeple with her hands as I got her ready for bed that night had me surprised and charmed. She tilted her tiny head and closed her eyes and I listened in awe to her sweet voice as she spoke her little prayer. “Hello, God. It is me, Cadence Rae Given. Please make my meemom all better so that she can push me on the swing when I can go outside with no shoes. Thanks, bye!”
Four-year old Connor takes a different approach. When he told me last year that he wanted to be a food scientist when he grew up I stopped thinking along traditional lines when I imagined his future. He believes that if we simply bring Grandmom some hot soup she will be good as new. The key to soup, Connor tells me, is that it must be hot, so I am to “speed like the other cars” when I bring the soup to Grandmom. The funny thing is that he is not so far off the mark with his notion of driving in the city, which brings us to another Helen moment.
Driving home from HUP is a totally different nightmare. The traffic is severely congested and people are just not in the finest of moods. Dana picks her way through potholes, cabdrivers and panhandlers as she gets us to 95. One night we happened to leave at the same time as Kelly and Helen and tailed them for a bit before switching lanes and moving ahead. I am sure that Kelly and Helen do a great deal of talking and smoking during their drive home and this must have been what prevented them from noticing Dana and I leaving them behind at the traffic light. There is one intersection as you are leaving the hospital that always has people in an uproar, 2 lanes go straight and a third lane is to make a right-hand turn but only on the signal. It’s the signal that gets everyone, they all start beeping at the lead car in the turning lane, angry over the fact that they are actually waiting for the light to change from red to green. .This night found Kelly and Helen as the lead car with a silver SUV similar to mine, laying on the horn behind them. Kelly looked back and laughed thinking it was Dana and I being smart-asses and Helen proceeded to hang her entire arm out the window with her middle finger riding high. As the light changed and the silver SUV pulled alongside Helen was rewarded with a view of a woman she had never seen before in her life. “Holy fuck, Kelly, it’s not even them!” Later, Helen would inform us of how she could have been killed pulling a stunt like that, but Dana just believes she should have directed her finger at the panhandler who carries the sign that says SUPPORT A VET FROM 1964, she believes that if he hasn’t found a job since 1964 he is incompetent at best and Helen would be fairly safe flipping him off for blocking traffic!
Panhandling seems to be quite an enterprise in the city and I have to admit I am always a bit surprised at the audacity of some. During a visit to the McDonalds across from the hospital, a few of us had the pleasure of meeting Big Red, as Dana calls him due to an ill-fitting red baseball hat. As I said earlier, my stepfather will start a conversation with anyone and this brings us more knowledge than we care to have. After a lengthy conversation with Big Red, Dan informed us that panhandling outside of HUP can earn you $300 to $400 a day. I am sure this is the thought irritated Kelly when he walked up to her while she ate her meal with Helen and Dana and interrupted her conversation to ask for money. Kelly turned to look at him and her voice was firm and annoyed, “Excuse me. No.” she stated. The word “bitch” could be heard as Big Red walked away, causing the manager of the McDonalds to ask him to leave. After Helen finished eating she went outside ahead of Dana and Kelly to smoke, and after watching her look back and forth a million times, fearing Big Red’s return, Kelly rose from the table and said, “We better go out there and get her before she gives herself whiplash!”
You are loved, Helen. People spend most of their lives looking for the place they belong, please know that you have found yours, and it is right here with us!
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